Jessi Tran winces at the memory of the bad gifts she's received - the fake elephant tusk, the white socks with red Santas, the leather organizer she already had.
So for her 27th birthday, she took no chances. Tran signed up for the book she wanted at Amazon.com, and the site's new gift-registry service fired off e-mails to her friends and family with a link leading them directly to the gift.
One friend told Tran the e-mail was obnoxious. But a few days later, a box from Amazon.com arrived bearing the novel about women and football Tran wanted.
"Basically you're telling people exactly what you want, and most of us tend not do to that. (But) deep down you're, like, `Please don't get me another pair of socks,' " she said.
Gift registries popping up on the Web are another illustration of how the Internet can make a process some consider a chore faster and easier. But the brutally efficient matching of gift-givers with gift-getters also takes away some of the surprise and intimacy involved in picking out a present.
"WishClick understands gift preferences and interests at a product level," said Scott Sangster, chief executive of year-old WishClick. "We know that you got that car stereo and you have an interest in music and our partner, Tower Records, has a sale. We might say, 'Would you be interested in XYZ?'"
At online registry della.com, which launched this month, recipients will be able to see which items on their wish list have been bought.
"It's less clear that the person who's giving the gift really understands the person who's receiving the gift," said Jan English-Lueck, chairwoman of San Jose State University's anthropology department. "That's a very integral part of gift giving. It establishes this symbolic relationship between people - `I know what you care about, you know what I care about.' If it's just a little too efficient, maybe you don't have to think about it."
Besides, it isn't good manners, said etiquette expert Letitia Baldridge.
"There's something so mercenary about this," she said. Using an online gift registry to request presents, she said, is like "ordering up on a menu at a restaurant."
"That's not what you do for a friend. You think from the heart, and you do creative things."
Children have long written to Santa asking for train sets or a Super Gymnast Barbie. And brides this summer began registering online for their Waterford crystal champagne flutes and white linen tablecloths.
But now, with consumers spending billions a year online, companies are hoping they'll transfer paper scraps scrawled with gift ideas into digital lists for occasions ranging from Christmas and Kwanzaa to birthdays and Valentine's Day.
For people like Karen Crandall of Burlingame, Calif., the practice is merely a virtual version of what her family has been doing for years. It began with the lists posted on the refrigerator, and as she and her siblings have moved around the country, her mother has taken over the role of "list central."
Crandall plans to suggest that her family migrate that practice online this season.
"Our market research showed some hesitancy among adults to send out an e-mail with a list of 'Here's what I want for the holidays,' " said Bob Sacco, vice president of marketing for Digital Connection. "Teens, on the other hand, don't seem to have an issue with it."
"As we move around the country more, it can be more difficult to really have a sense for what my sibling or my family might really need," she said.
Most of the online gift registries work similarly: Hopeful gift recipients create wish lists by picking items from shopping sites. Users of San Francisco-based della.com, for example, can choose from items at stores such as Williams-Sonoma, REI and Crate & Barrel. Giftgivers can check the lists for gift ideas and buy with a few clicks of a mouse.
One key difference is that some sites let people register items from any site on their lists, while others make it tough to shop with anyone other than their partner stores.
The online registries say they take the anxiety out of shopping and ensure that recipients get exactly what they want. At Amazon.com last holiday season, the No. 1 request was for a gift registry, said Jaleh Bisharat, Amazon's vice president of marketing. It introduced its Wish List service in October.
Many of the sites also offer other features, such as calendars to remind people of upcoming events, gift-recommendation services and the ability to create a profile with information such as dress or ring size, favorite colors and hobbies.
WishClick.com offers a reminder service that allows recipients to send friends and family an e-mail notifying them that, for instance, Christmas is just a few days away, and directing them to a link to the list of things they want.
IveBeenGood.com will take that a step further starting Dec. 1, allowing, for example, a child to send a real postcard with his wish list to his grandma, who may not have Internet access. For $15 to $25, the company will provide grandma with a personal shopper, placing the order for the gifts if she calls and specifies what she wants to buy.
But all of this emphasis on products may overlook the real spirit of giving. Etiquette experts and others cautioned that shoppers should always remember that they are never obligated to buy from someone's wish list if they don't want to.
"This is definitely a marketing tool for increasing e-commerce," English-Lueck said. "It does probably exclude other forms of gift giving. And I think that might be one of its great implications for the future. . . . It does preclude homemade gifts . . . gifts of the heart that don't necessarily have a URL."
Technology plays an even greater role for giftgivers who are in a rush at uGive.com. Shoppers can choose from different categories describing the recipient and receive suggestions churned out by a database.
The suggestions - for example, a gift that costs between $50 and $60 and is for a college-age male who is an "eccentric," "geek" and "has everything" - are packaged into an electronic 'GiftFolio.' An e-mail with a link to the GiftFolio is sent to the recipient, who can choose from up to 20 items. (Among the choices for the college-age male: video games, a cigar case and a thermos.)
Most of the registries hope to make money by taking a slice of the purchase price when consumers buy a gift using their services. This holiday season will likely be a test for many of them, and Jupiter Communications digital commerce analyst Melissa Shore predicts they'll become popular next holiday season.
In Tran's case, she couldn't stand the suspense. A few days before her birthday, she peeked at her Wish List and found that someone had purchased the book. The next day, the book arrived in the mail, a gift from a friend in Taiwan who told her, gratefully, "This is so easy and takes the pain out of thinking."
Tran said she didn't mind knowing what she was getting in advance. "I'm not much one for surprises," she said. "I like to get gifts I know are going to be used."
